A Question About Subculture

Or at least that's the title I could settle on for this post.

The last couple days I've been listening to George Michael. I don't know what it is about his music but it always takes me back to nights at JR's, the local gay bar hotspot (one of them), and all the fun I have when I'm there. The atmosphere is friendly, the drinks are good and always heavy if you treat your bartenders right and show face on a regular basis, and the music is a constant blend of anything modern back to the 80's.

JR's was the first "gay" place I was taken to by a buddy of mine. I'd only been out of the closet for around 5-6 months and he was determined to get me indoctrinated and laid. Thank goodness. My first reaction to the hopping little joint was awe. I'd been in bars off and on since turning 21 a few months prior, but they were mostly cowboy bars and those places definitely had a different feel to them back then. This place was friendly, lively, filled with guys kissing guys, girls holding girl's hands, all the music that threatened to ignite a holy gay fire in your heart, and shirtless bartenders. Paradise is a gross understatement. But what really got me was the realization that I could be every ounce the gay man that I was and I would get nothing but cheers and encouragement from the people around me. I don't know that anything like that really exists for my friends who are straight. Maybe.

This brought up a question in my mind. Are we as human beings driven to find our own kind in the different "subcultures" that exist under and outside of the over-culture that runs the world today? Is this how we find our diversity and yet maintain a security found in people who are "just like us"?

While many people strive to be "normal" no-one that I know of would really want to truly be normal. To be so would be to cease striving against the norm and would result in a total lack of life or drive. Essentially, life would stop and whether the physical body followed suit or not that person would die inside. Some people achieve some level of this, but most of them eventually snap out of it again. The human doesn't want to die.

My post tonight is short, but hopefully thought-provoking.

Winter and Wonderland

I love this weather we're getting right now across the US. Here in Colorado it's coming down in a fine mist. Muthafuckin' Christmas snow in February. I will never understand why we're always two months behind with the weather. Whatever, I'll enjoy it while I can. Don't get me wrong, I am a little tired of winter, but nights like this spark the imagination. It apparently also sparks a sex drive and self-analyzing thought processes.

It may just be that it's Saturday and everyone wants to be out clubbing and socializing (or at least they do in my world), but I seem to have this unquenchable desire to listen to beat-heavy, hip-twisting music of the raunchy sort. I blame this on Rihanna's new song "S&M" (see below) and on a need to get the shag on with anyone of the male gender. This led to a whole parade on Facebook of some of my favorites. Definitely all songs I'd love to do the deed to. Does the song "Porn Star Dancing" properly communicate exactly where I'm at right now?

This is where the "Wonderland" comes into it. Anytime I start self-analyzing it turns into some weird, tripped out adventure into oblivion, much like Lewis Carroll's world. With all this sex on the brain it would appear that I was a perfectly normal gay man in his mid-20's.... holy shit, I'm 25... But where it gets weird is where you consider that I have next to no desire to go out and pursue guys. At least not right now. So my brain is telling me that "yes, Strange, you should go get hot and nasty with the brownchikinbrowncow" but my body is actually telling me "eh, dude, we are so not behind that sentiment." While I have no desire to fully expand on my thought process in a blog on the internet at this exact point in time, I have to wonder if there's a wall between my body and my brain. Are they two separate entities battling for control? Am I really two people with different agendas? Am I an alien? What exactly consists of war between entity pieces? Am I over thinking this? Oh yes.

Enjoy a bit of sexy.