A Sunday Morning in January

Everyone can take a morning to themselves. 

Cue the music... and we're off. I cannot write without something rich playing in the background. I've been known to listen to one song on repeat when I'm drawing or painting to capture the exact mood I dropped into when I heard the song. It's very easy to burn yourself out on a song that way too,  I might add. This morning I couldn't come up with anything to really get me writing. I tried Mree's newest "Winterwell" and just found myself relaxing into zero motivation. Then I tried the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack at the recommendation of Erin over at Chatting the Sky and, while I love her description of how she sees the music, it was just not hitting the right mood for me. So I went with my most recent discovery of "Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die" by Panic at the Disco. If you haven't listened to it yet, Spotify has it streaming. Go.

So. It's Sunday morning. In 2014. We've crossed the threshold of another new year all over again. I know most people have already moved on to other topics at this point and "new year, new you" stuff is so five minutes ago. I promise this isn't that. I felt the need to get some of the thoughts I've had around this exciting last month out so I could have them down on (digital) paper. It serves the major function of this blog as a record of my thoughts and musings through out the last nine years.

Yeah, nine years. I can't believe it's been that long.

I can honestly say that 2013 ended on an unbelievably fantastic note and that carried right over into 2014. This is one of the first transitions I can remember being this good in a long time. Sure, life has been all over the place just like it is for everyone else on this planet, and I've had good starts to the years past, but none that were quite this remarkable.

Last year marked the start of what I'm calling "Chapter 3: New York City" in the larger storybook of my life. I pushed myself over that cliff I'd been putting on the back burner for so many years and landed on my feet. I'm not going into it now since I've already beaten it to death elsewhere on the blog. What's important here are the many new things that have grown out of it whether it was the little adventures had all over this city or the larger mile markers in life that I've gotten a handle on. I've seen places that inspire me endlessly to be a more complex and expressive human being and I've now started a new job that does all that plus advance me along my career path. I've met people who fill out the whole crayon box of colors that I never would have interacted with outside of this city. I've watched less attractive parts of myself disappear and be replaced by new growth in my own character. I've seen my time spent on meditating and getting ahold of those fractured pieces of my mind increase every day, contributing to a better, saner me for once. The positives go on and on.


And that was how I ended 2013. Surrounded by close friends, in spirit and in person, with love and excitement and a healthy lack of fucks to give. At midnight on New Years Eve I made a conscious point to step forward into the new year on the right foot, giving tribute to the superstitious side of me that loves that kind of thing and reinforcing, psychologically, the direction and attitude I wanted to carry through the next year.

I have no interest this year in resolutions. They are very valuable to some. I want to take a different approach and focus on goals. I want this year to not be about resolving to achieve those goals but rather to enjoy the process of chasing those goals. I've spent the majority of this month setting goals at work and in my personal life and as the timing is right I will start each individual journey and focus completely on watching myself change and adapt and revel in the process.

So, I've gotten that part out of the way. Do you think shorter blog posts should be a goal for this year? Lol

Life in NYC - Two Months Later

Whoever said moving to New York City was difficult was correct, almost. The technicality lies in the fact that it's not getting here that is tough, it's the adjustment period and initial struggle to get stabilized once you've landed. Prior to my move I had a good friend grab my hand and take a long look at me and state that August was going to be rough but September would bring along everything I was looking for with my move. She was dead right.

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been miserable or dream-killing, even during the moments of sheer panic and short bouts of depression that have cropped up. My first day in the city was full of the stereotypical wonder and excitement that I think most people feel the first time they visit the city or move here. I didn't have a clue where I was going to sleep and every room situation fell through before I'd even arrived, but the excitement just kept on a constant rumble for weeks. It was like a constant little reservoir I could tap into no matter what emotion had my immediate attention right then. And it's still there.

August was rough. My move into my new apartment didn't happen on time and I ended up panicking for a few days. I bounced around to different living situations so many times I've grown sick to death of boxes and suitcases and don't care to pack another one for a good while. I've met some great people and some not so great people. I've wandered through some scary little neighborhoods and gotten lost a few times too many. I've run short of money more times than I could almost stand. I've been homeless more than once.

All of this carried over to September for a week or two with a few things improving. There was the promise of a place to call home on the horizon and I managed to land a job just by walking into the restaurant and asking for work. I've had some kind of money coming into my pockets every day so far this month and there's a good chance that's only going to improve over the next few months. I managed to score a fantastic new roommate and I've grown so much closer to my little group of old and new friends here in the city. September has slowly revealed pieces of the life I wanted in part or in whole and it's looking like things are staying steady.

Two months in and I feel like I've grown a little and a lot at different times. I've got a home, friends, good health (just barely after that cold last week) and a job that pays the bills. New York City has taught me how to be alone while not being lonely and how to approach every day as a new adventure with new and random surprises around every corner. I was looking for radical change and it has found me. I'm still that kid from Wyoming and Colorado who is a little stupid and little awkward at times, but I'm quickly becoming the man who followed his dream of moving to the big city and opened up doors to be whatever he wished.

We are the architects of our own fate. - Buddhist saying

An Update on Life - New York City

Chapter 3 - New Beginnings in New York City

A lot has changed since I last wrote an entry into my blog. At the beginning of the summer I decided it was worth it to start thinking about the possibility of following my teenage dream of moving to New York City.

Ever since that first glimpse into the lives of Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte from the TV series Sex and the City I have always wanted a life that included living in the Big Apple. A few short stops and drives through the city on my way upstate sealed the deal for me. All it took was one evening driving along the Hudson across from Manhattan and seeing those bright lights and breath-taking skyline to convince me that this was indeed the place for me.

So, with all of this in mind, I started pulling everything together for this move. It took lots of coffee dates with a close friend to keep me from losing it when the reality of what I was doing would start to sink in. This was the first huge move I'd ever done. Sanity in check, I managed to check every major thing off my list in a matter of a month. I still can't believe it sometimes.

After a final farewell party and a few surprising tough goodbyes I packed my entire life up into a Penske truck and hit the road. It was a boring, excruciatingly long, construction-laden trip that I have sworn never to make again. I took some time to relax for a week with my family upstate and then made the final trek to my new home.

When I arrived I had no idea where I was going to stay as every room setup I had tried (there were at least 30) had fallen through, most at the last minute. Thanks to an amazing friend and some last-minute networking I scored a place for a week. After that it was a bit of creative hunting and I finally ended up with a hotel for a couple nights and a sublet to rent for the rest of August.

The majority of my living space worries were over and it was all about following up on jobs and hunting for my permanent living spot. Again, amazing things happened. I ended up finding an amazing apartment right on Central Park with an amazing guy for a roommate. Seriously, I don't know how I managed to pull off finding the great places I've stayed. That epic-ness aside, I've spent the last few weeks sending out my résumé to nearly 100 different companies and job posters. I've scored one interview that looks like it will pan out with another very promising position recently applied for. Seriously, this company is my dream job. I love what they do, who they are and the people they've hired. It would be an honor to work with these guys as a part of their team.

So here I sit, blogging and reliving the last month, and my optimism is still riding high and there's no change in that on the horizon. I've reconnected and partied with old friends and made many new ones. Sure, there are some uncertainties out there and basic worries I'll have to address, but it's one day at a time. And with that in mind I'll make dreams a reality step by step.

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep." - Prospero, The Tempest