I Freakin' Love These Guys

So I've been mulling around in my head a possible post for about a week now and while I could really do multiple posts on my idea, I've decided one will suffice. 

I have many wise, intelligent, and smart people in my life which some might say I've been "blessed" to meet and others would say I was lucky. I think it's a good mixture of both. Being a person who believes in luck to a limited degree and also one who believes that we meet people based on our will and intention as it is put out to the matrix around us, I take the approach that yes, I am a lucky son of a bitch to have bumped into the people I have and also I am very "blessed," using that as the emotional good feeling type, to have crossed paths with various inspirational and witty individuals. 

Many people come to mind as I think about this and while I'm not in any mood to list each and every one of them, you all know who you are. These people range from my very close family to lifelong friends and all the way to those who I've yet to meet in person or in spirit. They cover all classes and genders, races and titles, dispositions and orientations. They are my own very colorful palate of knowledge, wisdom, and direction. Each different and valuable in their own, sometimes messed up, way. 

Every single one of these people has been a friend, parent, brother, sister, teacher, student, or peer to me, some more than just one of these. There are those who've helped me through rough times of growing up and seeing the other side of the maturation process. Some have been emotionally supportive when life had me down and again when life dealt me all the right cards. A few have sat through my rants and ravings and calmly showed me another side of an issue. Some have never said a thing to me but been around, just in case. All have taught me more about life and still have more to teach me still. Some are complete morons that in their own way show me how not to be and continue to make me love them for simply who they are. Some are brilliant and scare the crap out of me when I realize I may never have that same potential but still give me something to shoot for. I could go on and on. 

I look back on my life almost daily and marvel that I still have not one thing that I regret, not one fact that I would change if I could. All of it has led me to who I am today and while I'm hardly perfect and barely strive for that I am very happy with where I've come from and where I plan to go. Each college buddy, mother, adopted family member, best friend, and dumb shit I've come across has influenced me in some way. Some would say many of these have been negative influences, and some would take my perspective on it and say that every one of them has had some good influence on me in one way or another to a large or small degree. Why change a thing?

I hope that I continue to attract and draw influential and wise people to me. For those that have come and gone, I hope they do some good in other people's lives like they have mine. For those that are still around, I plan on keep them around for as long as they can stand me. And I also hope that I continue to take the time to appreciate and reflect on how glad I am that they are around. That being said I plan to have another blog post like this in the future, just as a reminder. 

Wise people are able to spread their love of one tree to the entire forest -- and, then, to the Source of the forest. Wise people are able to spread their love of one moment to all moments -- and, then, to the Source of all moments.

Laura Teresa Marquez

Early Morning Conversation

Shawn-ology

I was up late and decided to catch up on some recent blogs my friends have posted and found this little dandy on my adopted mom's site!  So, because it's insanely late and I plan on getting up at 8 tomorrow, I sat here and filled this out. Who am I kidding though? I loved it.  

Shawn-ology

***********FOODOLOGY***************

1. What is your salad dressing of choice?

Custom made stuff is the best, but I'm partial to a little oil and salt and peppahar!

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?

Way too many to try to list. I haven't picked a fave yet. 

3.What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?

Pizza and Beer

4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?

Pepperoni and cheese and sometimes mushrooms

5. What do you like to put on your toast?

Butter

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

1. How many televisions are in your house?

4 at the moment

2.What color cell phone do you have?

Red

***************BIOLOGY******************

1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Right

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

Not surgically

3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?

Probably a sofa and some chests at a friend's

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

Nope. Been unconscious, though. 

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

I guess. I already know how it's going to happen so when would just be cool. 

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

Justin, Brian, or Aarron

3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

What type of hot sauce is it?

************DUMBOLOGY******************

1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?

2

2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?

I have so many minor run-ins with the cops I don't remember

3. Last person you talked to?

Mark before he went to bed. 

4.Last person you hugged?

Val. She had some weird hug thing she wanted to try from an online article. 

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

1. Season?

Tough. Big fan of Summer, but I do like the cool down of Fall, not to mention its pure witchyness!

2. Day of the week?

Monday. The week always looks better from the start. 

3. Month?

June. My birthday, which is becoming less and less important the older I get, lands in the middle. 

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

1. Missing someone?

A lot of people. Being a hermit sucks after a while.

2. Mood?

Contemplative. Soaking up all kinds of new ideas. 

3. What are you listening to?

Britney

4. Watching?

Saw Watchmen a couple hours ago. 

5. Worrying about?

The lack of a job, the debt I'm getting into with a couple of minor companies, and whether or not I'm passing up any opportunities because I'm a blond dipshit sometimes.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

1. First place you went this morning?

Shower

2. What's the last movie you saw?

Again, Watchmen. It was amazing. 

3. Do you smile often?

When I'm consciously thinking about it. Otherwise I look very pissed off. Lol

4. Sleeping Alone Tonight?

Yeah. Sucks. I miss nights spent with someone else. 

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

1. Do you always answer your phone?

Rarely. If I want to talk, I pick up. 

2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?

One of my bar homies. 

3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?

White-blue. I've always liked the shock value of really bright irises. 

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?

Blehhhh!

5. Do you own a digital camera?

Yes, it's not working though. 

6. Have you ever had a pet fish?

When I was three. 

7. Favorite Christmas song.

Carol of the Bells

8. What's on your wish list for your birthday?

People to actually show up for once. 

9. Can you do push ups?

Yes

10. Can you do a chin up?

One...or two...

11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?

Excited!

12. Do you have any saved texts?

One, it's all my phoen will hold right now. 

13. Ever been in a car wreck?

Gods, yes. 

14. Do you have an accent?

Not until I hear a British one, then I'm stuck with that for a few days. 

15. What is the last song to make you cry?

Moon River. My best friend left me for California on that song.

16. Plans tonight?

Going to bed in a few. 

17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?

Yeah. At least a couple of times. Also called a Dark Night of the Soul. 

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.

I have a serious lack of money here, people! I'm not out buying things! Lol

19) Have you ever been given roses?

No, but I'd probably shred them if I did. I hate stereotypical romance. 

20) Current worry?

Uhhhmmm....

21. Current hate right now?

How fucked up the country is right now and its immediate reflection on my life. 

22. Met someone who changed your life?

Several. Check back tomorrow, I'll have a whole blog post on it. 

23. How will you bring in the New Year?

Hopefully at a bar with pals.

24. What song represents you?

Defying Gravity from Wicked

25. Name three people who might complete this?

Schelli? She reads for sure, and maybe Val if she's bored, and hopefully you, my unknown reader. Yes, I know you're there. My traffic trackers tell me you poke your head in from time to time. Lol

26. What is something your friends make fun of you for?

Liking men and their hot, naked bodies. 'Course, I'm not one to hold back on the fodder for their cannons. Lol

Thoughts on Gay Marriage

This is a letter that the daughter of a friend of mine wrote to another person expressing their view on gay marriage. When this friend of mine read it to a group of us, radiating an immense amount of pride at her daughter's well versed retort, I was also very impressed. This girl has a good head on her shoulders and I felt I had to share this with everyone else. In the light of such intense fighting on both sides of this issue and all the crap that you see at various political events (see picture), it's nice to hear someone argue their side so very well. The letter is used with the permission of all involved parties. Enjoy!

Having just opened the letter with a quick note on how she appreciated the person this letter is addressed to, she says-

... I just view it as not the place of the government to force the people of this country to believe or follow specific religions views on topics such as marriage. In this beautiful country of ours there is supposed to be a seperation of church and state. There are millions of people practicing many many different religions and it is not feasable for the government to make laws insisting people follow each and every one. This is the point of religious freedom in the US. So it is not the my place, or anyone's place to tell people what they should and should not believe or who they are or are not allowed to love and marry. Especially the government. 

And if it is decided that this religious belief is important enough to make laws based on then it should make laws on all aspects of it. On this Divine marriage belief then divorce, children out of wedlock, single parents, adoption, Vegas marriage chapels, adultery, tv shows featuring people competing for marriage and money payoffs and all other non-traditional marriage related actions should all be outlawed. It doesn't seem fair to single out sections of people to eliminate rights for while letting other people who are also not following the traditional marriage beliefs face no consequences. My fiancee is not Christian. In fact he practices Buddhism, not strictly but that is still what is printed on his dogtags. So ours is not a traditional marriage either. So should we lose our right to marry as well? Simply because he is a man and I am a woman it is allowed?

I feel since God creates all people. Then God must create gay people as well. By doing so then he is in a sense changing the definition of humanity. And then some other "rules" should be changed as well. I see God as an all accepting loving being. And I don't see him as the type to tell certain people that they do not have the same rights as others simply because they happen to fall in love with someone of the same sex. 

I just don't see it as my place, or anyones place, to eliminate millions of Americans rights to marry because they are different than I am. It won't affect my personal life, therefore it is not my place to say no it is not ok. At the end of the day, every single gay man and woman is still gay. Many are still in loving relationships. Still active members of their community. Still making this country great. Outlawing the benefits of their relationships doesn't make them hetrosexual. So who is it hurting to give them the same rights everyone else has?

I really didn't mean to start a debate on the topic, I'm just trying to explain my views on the matter so you have an understanding where I am coming from as well. There is just one question I have for you. If one of your children were homosexual would you not want them to be allowed to marry the person they loved?

Pretty well said. I, for my part, am cheering this girl on in any of her endeavors. 

Sarah Weddington

Last night I got to be in the same room with a little piece of history. That "history" was Sarah Weddington the lawyer who argued the side of Roe in the United States Supreme Court case Roe vs. Wade and was also the youngest person at that time to argue before the SC. While I am still riding on the excitement of getting to see this woman and haven't had any thoughts on the evening, this will be a short entry. 

Sarah Weddington spoke at the Planned Parenthood Center in Stapeleton yesterday after having spoken at other places around town in celebration of the 36th anniversary of the victory of Roe vs. Wade back in 1973. The impact that that event had on our nation's growth and the move forward that that gives to many different human rights issues is unbelievable. Sarah spoke on her experiences and how that has enabled her to continue to help women's rights movements since and also commented on further work to make sure that we as Americans have the freedom to make our own choices. 

Further thoughts on this even as well as Roe vs. Wade to come later. I'm still not awake. Lol

Another Tree-Hugging Blog Entry

Waking up in a foul mood can have a huge impact on how you look at the world around you that day. 

This morning I found myself awake at dawn suffering (oh, the melodrama) from a mild case of whatever the cat had yesterday. During the time spent taking her to the vet I was able to get a read on what the kitten was feeling and it felt like a mild case of the flu that we humans get from time to time. After getting the read, I didn't properly ground the energy picked up and got the full effect early this morning. Damn me and my energy work. 

After improperly waking up from an "acid" dream to a fucked up eye, a headache carried on over from the night before, and a disturbing loss of all sense of time and space I found myself in a really pissy mood. The wrong side of the bed is an aptly used phrase here. All ailments aside, I have no idea why my otherwise perky overcoat I typically wear to the world had completely dissolved on waking. This led to some morning meditation.

Lately, while meditating I have focused on what I want and need from my life. This has taken me to one specific routine that I usually just fall into where I can feel the bounty of the Earth rising around me. The Earth is full of wealth and fruit just waiting for the labor. Okay, I say to myself, then why am I having such a difficult time finding work? Well, the economy is shit, of course. But then I find answers coming to me that I didn't expect. 

It reaches much further than just the simple fact that we all have been severely fucked by the previous administration's foreign policies and bad management of the country we entrusted to them. No, it goes beyond that and comes back around to the simple fact we all hear everyday but don't realize its full meaning. We are slipping away from the Earth and all she holds for us. Through generations of development and progress we have forgotten where that all originated and why life even continues today. In our loss of connection with the Earth we have lost our connection to those responsibilities so often talked about in many of the major religious texts and spiritual teachings. That of our job of caring for the Earth and tending it as co-existing entities on it's surface. 

Like a parasite we have crawled across the surface, penetrating beneath the skin, sucking the life and resources from the beautiful planet we live on. In our pollution of the atmosphere, our hording and free-reign destruction of forests, lakes, and oceans, the extinction of so many different animals, and our day to day lack of concern for the well being of those around us, just to name a few, we have failed to uphold our end of the bargain handed down through generations since our first moment of birth in this world. We forget that basic law of cause and effect and have only recently begun to take stock of what we have done. What will be the effects of this thing we have caused?

It is my opinion and belief that the Earth can take care of herself. And if she continues to feel the desecration of her being and the rampant lack of concern for her well being, she will adjust and adapt to take care of the problem. That problem is us. Nature has a way of causing disaster in order to bring new life. It's evident in our forest fires, earthquakes, and climate shifts. From death comes rebirth. From each rotting corpse comes fertile soil and the chance for a new growth. She is powerful, she is a mother, and she will kick our ass until we shape up or are gone completely replaced by a new caretaker and cohabitant. 

What the fuck does this have to do with morning meditation and seeing the riches around us? Good question. Each person has the ability to make the future for themselves that they desire and if we wish to feel the simple joys of a life well lived, a life of fulfillment on a material level, maybe even on a spiritual level, then we need to reconnect with the bounty of the Earth around us put out the labor to reap the fruits. We need to realize that our day to day actions have a universal impact through our interconnection with each other and make those small changes to create a better future for ourselves and each other. 

After a simple morning meditation my mood is hardly improved, but my outlook on tomorrow, heck even today, is improved and with further focus and study and meditation I can start to see how I can be in better control of my future and start doing my part to return to the Earth the love that has been so freely given from day to day. 

So ends my pissed off insights. 

Exactly Two Days Later...

Oh, I am so good. Look at me, the pro blogger posting new entry just two days after the last one! Lol

I was contemplating today all the things I really want to do in 2009 that I failed to do last year. I was lucky enough to conquer more territory in my travels around the U.S. last year with a trip to New York state. That means that I've been all over most of the mid west, eastern, and southern parts of the States with everything beyond the Rocky Mountains to the west to see now. Unfortunately, I did not get to see California last year like I wanted to, but I did get some great photos of the north eastern part of the country and will post those at some later date when they've all been fixed and categorized. But on to the things my little black heart desires for '09. 

Besides a new job, car and apartment that I mentioned in my last entry, I really would love to be able to purchase a bike this year. I see myself leaning more and more towards a greener way of life and really am jazzed about the physical benefits of riding a bike. 

I've also found myself missing my old partying lifestyle. While I have no desire to go back to the drunken, sexless nights of my first year here in Colorado, I really have no desire to lose touch with the local bar scene and hoppin', club nightlife. The faint smell of smoke in a bar full of rum, vodka and tequilas has hit me a few times in the last month and I really do miss it. It's a special feeling and I will be doing my best to reconnect with my inner Brian. 

I am looking forward to a more diverse job field this year too. I know this is flopping back to the "I want a new job for '09" thing I left in the last entry for a good reason, but as a Gemini the experience of a new working 

atmosphere has got me all giddy like a pre-pubescent schoolboy on glue. 

I am determined to accomplish some new feat in my knitting hobby pool this year and with the very exciting prospects of starting a new knitting group (OMG Kelly, another knitting group!) with some friends I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunities to find that special thing. My goal is fewer scarves and more Anticraft! Lol

I say every year that I want to get in shape and look hot, blah blah blah, but it's one of those things you have to believe-it-when- you-see-it. I'll just leave it at that. No sense in even getting all nutso about it here and screwing it up later when I have failed utterly. Again! Actually it's just a good excuse to slip in a pic of a hot shirtless guy. Agh! My plan is foiled by my own inane babble!

I did some work with my coven last year, just basic classes, and I am getting very excited about starting back up again. It's all tied in with getting a job, of course, but I am in a very spiritual state of mind lately and want to get back into pagan action quickly. Personal studies have gotten me far in life, thus far, but a good teacher is to be prized and I feel a little balance, as I see it, is needed in my life. Nothing like resolving to take better control of you life!

I would also like to build some bridges with my family this year too. As estranged as they are, I have had them on the brain and feel that this could be a good year to do some repairs. I have no big expectations, but it would be nice to get a call from the 'rents from time to time. I may be expecting miracles but I do have a spark of hope. In the meanwhile, I have a great group of friends and adopted family that I am pretty fond of, so I'm good. Lol

This is a mass of unconnected paragraphs I have realized. Hopefully you all are coming back from time to time and managing to last all the way through these posts. If you are, you're insane. But I love you. If you don't and just skipped to the end accidentally, a pox be on you and your slimy spawn. 

And like a Gemini with A.D.D., I'm heading off to other shiny baubles! In the common streak of the week I bid you all a g'day and scream a hearty "for the love of Ganesh!" 'Cause we all love the elephant-headed god. 

Exactly A Month Later...

...I return! Gods, I'm lame. True, I have been in a bit of a slump. But I think things are turning around. 

Two thousand and nine promises to be a good year in many ways. Numerology-wise my numbers are matching up this year with the energy coming in. It promises to be a year of global importance in the area of awareness and higher thought. According to this article I found in the Global Pagans Online forum, 2009 is a Universal 11 year which we have not seen since 1910. The energy brought in by this highly important number will have people asking big questions of themselves and looking deeper into the "why's" of their spiritual sides. For a Gemini like myself this will sync up nicely with my own personal horoscope forecast for the the year. The planets are in place to bring some good shit in this year. Double whammy for me, it looks like. 

With my good news out of the way, let me just say that 2008 was a crash landing into crappolla of the pretty nasty kind. We hit the bottom on many levels and I'll spend the first quarter of this year recovering. However, coupled with the good news in paragraph two, I've found positive ways of looking at it and have found many of the green grasses hidden under the cow pies. It's amazing how good it feels cutting ties to bad juju from your past. I've done some damn fine chopping. Some of it forced, but all of it fun. 

Swinging along with the "2008 was blah blah, and 2009 was blah blah" of the two pseudo relationships and many (cough record setting cough) one-time encounters, I've walked into '09 with no attachments and no plans to really do anything about it anytime soon. Yes, I'm still a horny fucker. Not that you wanted to know that, but I just raped your eyes with it so deal. But I've decided to move back to that point where I pursued dating a little more logically than last year. Dating. Hardly. 

Hobby-wise, I've recently all but finished my red scarf and am getting ready to work on a charity project for the troops on duty. Pictures will most likely follow if I can motivate myself to post anything. Yeah right. If you are on Ravelry, you'll see them sooner. Speaking of Ravelry, I have taken up some activity in the groups I've joined but am starting to fall off the wagon again. It comes and goes. The more projects I actually finish will spur me to post again, I am sure. 

The hunt for a car and apartment should take up the better first part of this year. Both of these contingent on getting a job. We here at Shawn Inc. are hoping for some work here soon in the temp field and then something a bit more permanent after that. This year promises to be good for my online tarot business and we are keeping our fingers crossed. 

Since this is turning into a rather lengthy (STFU cretins in the back!) entry, I'm going to cut it short here. Mostly because I'm a Gemini and getting bored with myself. And I want to smoke. And get some water. And play with my cards. More tomorrow where I will talk about my goals for the year, trends in sprituality I can or can't see coming, and just how full of shit I am. 

Now back to your boring daily lives. And remember- breathe in, breathe out. 

Doing the Math = I'm Screwed

Allright. So I was sitting with some friends the other night and just doing some basic math in my head when I happened on this startling revelation of doom. It wasn't good.


The population of the United States is 305,888,000 as of 2008. Now my dating pool is within the six to ten percent statistically proven to be made up of gays and lesbians. Assuming we work with the generous amount of 10% we are now down to a pool of 30,588,800 people. Still good numbers, right? Well then you have to factor in that roughly half of that number are lesbians. I can't date lesbians. So now we are down to 15,299,400. They keep going down.

Keeping it simple, we decide to half it again to weed out those gay guys that are flamboyant or "queens." No offense meant, they just aren't my type and probably never will be. Now we have 7,647,200 masculine gay guys that would fall under my radar and would be dating material.

Now obviously, there are going to be some hazards one will have to watch out for in this shrinking pool. STD's are but one. Guys still in the closet are yet another. I could get detailed, but I don't have the time. Roughly half again if we are generous. Saying that we just lumped these all together, we would have another half taken away. Our number is now down to 3,823,600. Still looks like a big number?

Disease and identity issues aside, there is the problem of compatability. I'm obviously not going to get along with every guy in the above pool. There are 12 zodiac signs for a reason. Twelve major personality groups and not all of them work well together. We'll half it again in keeping with the trend. Total is 1,911,300. Gloomy.

Let's put it into perspective. With these numbers, our ratio ends up being that for every 120 people out there that I may meet, bump into, converse with, or pass on the street only one of them will be gay, available, and compatible. Like finding a needle in a haystack.

Doom and gloom seem to be in the forcast for today.

Mercury

Your result for What Planet are You From? Test...

You are from Mercury!

20% Mercury

You, my friend, are a Mercurian!

Mercury is the planet that is closest to the sun. It is the smallest planet in our solar system and it does not have rings. Because it is so close to the sun and it’s small size it’s not easy to get a view from the planet from Earth without a telescope. What’s funny is that as close as the planet is to the sun there is still ice on the planet. The craters on the planet never see the light of the sun.

Mercury is named after the Roman god known as the “Messenger.” Evidently he was busy flitting around with wings on his heels going around and talking to everyone. It was said that he could bring abundance and success, so evidently he was a guy worth listening to.

What does this mean about you?

Well, Mercurians are a very independent type. They are set in their ways and very cool. There isn’t much that can change your mind. Some people may think you are a bit egotistical, but you were born charming and are an effective communicator. You know how to react to things calmly and express yourself well. More than likely you have a very good sense for business.

You like sex and you have a very strong stamina. Because you are so cool, though, your partner may think you don’t care about them, but you do. You just don’t like getting all gushy. You can enjoy many loves in your life. You are probably also one that isn’t suited for just staying home and taking care of the hearth. You just aren’t set up for the usual marriage thing. It doesn’t give you enough freedom.

So, be free Mercurian! Not that you’ll do what I say anyway!

Take What Planet are You From? Test at HelloQuizzy

Seven Things I Love

Yay! I got tagged! My Adopted Mom, AM for short, tagged me in this entry of hers. So here it is.
Seven Things I Love

1. Family, or Framily. One cannot make it through life without someone to call family. I have been lucky enough to have been raised by a very loving family who, though they don't talk to me much at the moment, definitely love me and care about what happens to me. I also have my adopted family who have been the best thing for me in the last three years. And lastly, there is "framily" or friends who become like family to us and stick with us no matter where life takes us. I thankfully have picked up a few more additions I consider "framily" from all the different places I have been.

2. The Earth. We needed to find a grounding point from day to day when life decides to go nuts on us and the Earth is always there for us to give us that stability. The huge abundance of Mother Earth and her instinctual care for the beings that co-exist on her surface are things we all can be thankful for. A solid footing is worth so much. That thankfulness should inspire us to care for the one who gave us life.

3. Music. With so many different ways of expressing yourself through music we are able to communicate with those around us in one more creative, wonderful way that is limited only by our imagination, or lack of it. Lol. Music can be tacked onto so many of our individual experiences and offers ways of recalling specific moments in time bringing with them those emotions that fuel life.

4. Art. Another form of expression that lets us communicate how we view the world around us, what emotions and feelings arise from our daily interactions, and what hopes and fears we hide inside.

5. Sex. You knew this one was coming! Where would we be without that crazy rise in body temperature, the sweat beading on our skin, the rush of adrenaline that comes when we get ready to screw like crazy with another person! Sex is one of those pleasures that makes life spicy and fun. For some it's something they can't get enough of, and for others it is an activity they crave on a somewhat regular basis. Sex makes the world go 'round! It lets you know you're alive! Some of us "outgrow" it as we get older and some of us never really get over it. It is a freakin' awesome part of our genetic makeup.

6. Pizza and Beer. A match made in heaven. Kudos to whatever crazy Italian genius came up with the pizza pie. And we have a long history of people fermenting crap and loving the hell out of it, I think we have scored finally with the invention of beer. You can have it any way you like, but I'm partial to a nice cold one in a big frosty mug next to an extra large pepperoni, mushroom, extra cheesy pan pizza.

7. The Holidays. I'm probably just including this one because we are right in the middle of the holiday season, but I love this time of year. Excuses abound to get together with friends and family. The ridiculous, much-frowned upon consumerism kicks in and results in the maddening shopping frenzy (which I love for some reason) and dressed up shops. Usually you can find snow, falling leaves, or fireworks and "Aulde Lang Syne" happening somewhere. It's a worldwide good time.

And that wraps it up. There is hordes more that I am thankful for, but these usually top the list. Hopefully you enjoyed that little peek into my crazy messed up head. Cheers.

Things I've Done

Things I've Done (In Bold) stolen from Kitting in the Shadows

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightening at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Rode an elephant

I'm a sucker for these things. So I'll do them from time to time. I have no idea who actually reads my blog so you're automatically tagged if you read this! And you have to post a comment on this entry with a link to your Things I've Done entry.

Thanksgiving in New York

I'm all "a-buzz" over my trip to NY ext week. I've chattered on and on to friends, even wrote an email to my mom, and now I'm going to blog it! Wheeee!



So the "family" lives in upstate New York in the village of Clinton. It's right outside of the combined cities of Rome and Utica and I believe in the same vicinity of New Hartford, NY. Looking at the pictures in such a rush. The village has a small, homey look to it and I can only imagine what it looks like in the winter. New England winter. Hmmmm. I really should have Bev describe it all to you. She does an excellent job. If you want her opinion of it go to her blog entry.



The Great 24hr Road Trip of the Year begins Saturday morning early early. There will be many pictures and a rolling slide show of each state we pass through and any major landmarks we may pass. And you will have to endure some crazy face shots as well. They are bound to happen. The carriage is a gorgeous blue and we will be taking it in to get its motorized steed checked out tomorrow as well as get its oil looked at. Pillows will be packed and games will be stashed. Music cd's are being burned and good travel incantations are being muttered.



Once we have arrived, tired, sleep deprived, and totally bonkers, there will be some catching up and then much partying with the fam. If I get a spare minute to upload pictures and blog while I'm there, I will. Believe it. 'Til this trip commences I have another whole day of sitting around getting ready. Sigh.

Burnout- Maybe?

I came across this great article while I was doing my daily checking of favorite sites and keeping up with various friends. Brought something to mind I hadn't given a lot of thought to. The article talked about burnout, granted, from a spiritual standpoint, but there were many things that translated over into a daily mundane existence. What got me was this explanation of what burnout is by the author, Cerridwen Iris Shea-

"A person who is "burned out" has used up all resources and often suffers from depression, anxiety, short temper, lethargy, mood swings, loss or increase of appetite, loss of interest in sex, and inability to interact well with others."

And oddly eough I have been complaining about a low sex drive, the fact I slept 'til 6pm the other day after going to bed at midnight the evening before, depression, depression hitting from nowhere, axiety issues, etc.. Now I'm thinking my body has been trying to tell me something for the last few months.

Question now is how do I avoid this? The author advises routine "timeouts" to recharge and repair our batteries. Perhaps I neglected that? Problem is I don't recall when it all started or if I took the necessary time to reboot. As body-conscious as I try to be, this issue has "shame on you" scrawled all over it. How did I stop picking up on the little signals my body has been feeding me?

This entry ends with a lot of questions. Hopefully I'll have answers soon.

Oh, Devil, Where Art Thou?

Tonight my Tarot cards are screaming at me. I love it (semi-sarcastic there) when I lay out my cards looking for the answer to a question and the come back with a bitch slap. Makes my day. Actually, it usually freaks me out. Like tonight. A friend of mine would say that I am "hot" tonight. I guess that's the same thing.


The Devil, card XV, is aparently hanging out in my higher consciousness with a direct message to recognize my feelings of entrapment. This is different in its message from the Eight of Swords in that the "entrapment" is not something of my own creation but a product of my surroundings and current events.

While I understand my situation, I am hesitant to do anything about it out of a paranoia I have about majorly screwing up my life. I have yet to actually do that, though I'm of the opinion I've almost done it a few times. Mirroring that hesitation is the squirrelly little Page of Pentacles hanging about upside down in my physical issues area. God, so damn accurate. It's paired itself up with the the Five of Cups, a card that in most interpretations shows depression on a physical level. The effing Devil is sitting directly opposite it in my spread. Little fuckers. I hate/love it whe they are right.

So what to do? My outcome showed a progression into the stage of my life marked by stability of emotions and a maturity we all strive for. What a nice "Do it, you moron" message I am getting there. I got what I asked for. The brilliant array of new experiences that also showed in the reading are hard to ignore though I am always more prone to pass up change if at all possible. Why do that? 'Cus I'm a moron. My own belief that life is about constantly changing in order to progress towards a higher state of being seems very lacking at the moment. Call me a hypocrite. Just not to my face. My cards should take care of that for me. Bastards.


That bitter trend you see weaving its way in in reference to my little deck 'o Tarot is kind of an exageration. They have yet to really let me down, so I tend to trust them. I just hate being told things that have the potential to really screw around with my own morbid stability. Now I just have to ponder whether I will really take their advice and step off the cliff you see in the Fool's little picture and trust myself to the Fates.


I'm going to be up late tonight.

The Fool Has An Offer

Cards for this entry are the Tower and the Fool. Why these two cards? They tended to show up in any reading I had done, either myself or from a fellow reader, before the events of last Thursday. Anyone versed in the tarot will be thinking by now "oh, god, here comes the drama." And they would be right. The Tower represents sudden change, usually in a big way. It can be in your favor or not so much. In my case, not so much.

I'm going to apologize in advance for the bitter overtone I'm sure will seep through into this entry.

The Tower reflected in my life translated to losing my job working for DISH Network. Not quite what I had assumed the Tower would mean. I was up to transfer to a new shift in my department and took the card to mean that I would get that change I was looking for. It turns out that DISH needed to get rid of a few, and yes, I'm exaggerating, people in order to get things back down to where they were before the company over hired. So they fired everyone who making any kind of money in order to cut down on payout and still keep their staff. Friend of mine who'd been with the company for four years was terminated with no write ups, no consultations, and barely an explanation. There are a few good opportunities here for some legal action benefiting myself and the rest of the former employees that I plan on researching fully and going through with if all looks good. In the meantime, I am sitting around praying to the gods for a massive crater to open up under that pile of crap and suck it all down to the Underworld. Sigh, one can dream. I'd take that or a meteor.

I haven't gotten to the Fool yet, so let's move on to that. This would be the plus side to this whole adventure. The Fool card represents new beginnings, stepping out into the unknown on faith, a certain naivete that comes with starting a new line of thought, etc.. As my outcome card in this reading, the Fool has decided to take me on a trip to new job experiences and a change up in my life. Take the devastation of the Tower, throw in a little energy from the Star, and start things over again. The Fool would council leaving everything behind and starting with a new frame of mind, but common sense advises me to take the offer of the Fool and temper it with past experience. So I am pursuing new jobs, holding onto friendships made in the last ten months, and trying to find the positive spin on this event.

I still want to create a black hole. You know what for. Uh huh.

With all this free time available to me now, be expecting posts on a more regular schedule.