11/14/2011

Hack Translate: Haus Der Drei Sonnen (House of the Three Suns)

I love this song. I love even more Nena's voice singing it. It's been tough to find it translated to English and even then I don't know that I would trust the English translation all that much. I decided to go with an impartial robot and use Google Chrome's translation engine while searching for Haus Der Drei Sonnen via the German Google. This is what I got. I was shocked to find out that the music definitely matches the lyrics. And they are fascinating. I decided to include the video from Youtube as well at the end. Enjoy. 


haus der drei sonnen, hack, translate, german, Nena, singer, profile
German: 

Im Haus der drei Sonnenfern von dieser Welt
wo leuchtend die Räder des Schicksals rotier'n.Im Haus der Geschichtendie niemand erzählt
wo Raumschiffe einsam im All explodier'n.Im Schnellzug der Hoffnungder nirgendwo hält
kämpft ein alter Spieler um sein letztes Geld
will alles auf einmal und sofort -Das Schiff das sinktdoch der Käpt'n bleibt an Bord.
Im Haus der drei Sonnenfern von dieser Welt
im Schnellzug zur Hoffnungder nirgendwo hält
wo leuchtend die Räder des Schicksals rotier'n
und Raumschiffe einsam im All explodier'n.
Mal geht's ihm gutund dann geht's ihm schlecht -manchmal hat er Glückdoch meistens hat er Pech.Im Haus der drei Sonnen vergisst er die Welt
er hat seine Verluste noch niemals gezählt.Der Schnellzug zur Hoffnung ist lange entgleist
im Haus der drei Sonnendas Groschengrab heißt.Alles auf einmal und sofort -Das Schiff das sinktdoch der Käpt'n bleibt an Bord.
Im Haus der drei Sonnenfern von dieser Welt
im Schnellzug zur Hoffnungder nirgendwo hält
wo leuchtend die Räder des Schicksals rotier'n
und Raumschiffe einsam im All explodier'n.
Mal geht's ihm gutund dann geht's ihm schlecht -manchmal hat er Glückdoch meistens hat er Pech.Im Haus der drei Sonnen vergisst er die Welt
er hat seine Verluste noch niemals gezählt.Der Schnellzug zur Hoffnung ist lange entgleist
im Haus der drei Sonnendas Groschengrab heißt.Alles auf einmal und sofort -Das Schiff das sinktdoch der Käpt'n bleibt an Bord.
Im Haus der drei Sonnenfern von dieser Welt
im Schnellzug zur Hoffnungder nirgendwo hält
wo leuchtend die Räder des Schicksals rotier'n
und Raumschiffe einsam im All explodier'n.Im Schnellzug der Hoffnungder nirgendwo hält
kämpft ein alter Spieler um sein letztes Geld -im Haus der Geschichtendie niemand erzählt.


English: 


In the house of the Three Suns away from this world
where bright rotate the wheels of fate
in the house of the stories that nobody tells
where spaceships explode diern lonely in space
In holding fast to the hope of nowhere
an old player is fighting for his last money
everything at once and immediately
the ship is sinking but the captain remains on board the
In the house of the Three Suns away from this world
in holding fast to the hope of nowhere
where bright rotate the wheels of fate
and spaceships exploring diern lonely in space
Mal's doing well and then it's going bad
Sometimes he is lucky but mostly he has bad luck
in the house of the Three Suns, he forgets the world
he has counted his losses never
The hope is to express derailed long
the three suns in the house is the grave Grosch
everything at once and immediately
the ship goes under but the captain remains on board
In the house of the Three Suns away from this world
in holding fast to the hope of nowhere
where bright rotate the wheels of fate
and spaceships exploring diern lonely in space
Mal's doing well and then it's going bad
Sometimes he is lucky but mostly he has bad luck
in the house of the Three Suns, he forgets the world
he has counted his losses never
The hope is to express derailed long
the three suns in the house is the grave Grosch
everything at once and immediately
the ship goes under but the captain remains on board
In the house of the Three Suns away from this world
in holding fast to the hope of nowhere
where bright rotate the wheels of fate
and spaceships exploring diern lonely in space
In the house of the Three Suns away from this world
in holding fast to the hope of nowhere
an old player is fighting for his last money
in the house of the stories that nobody tells


11/01/2011

Signature

I've been mulling over identity and uniqueness today. I find each person's unique qualities to be fascinating and a large part of what attracts me to them. I find most, if not all, of my friends possess something like this. I'm guessing that people who don't have these "uniquenesses" probably don't wind up jiving with me and may not end up developing into more than an acquaintance. It's definitely something I can pick out in each one of them. They are as unique and different in their individual styles, likes and dislikes, moods and quirks.

What is getting me is how not like this I feel. I can pin down someone's "signature" on the world around them but not my own. It's probably just me being over analytically, but I look at myself and see copycatting. I see little bits of everyone else out there as the sum total of who I am. None of it seems like it's a spawn of my own individuality. Granted, most of my experiences are my own or are a reinterpretation of a shared experience with someone else. But outside of that, what makes me standout sharply against the background?

This question will be around for a while, I'm thinking. I am on a quest to figure out what makes me unique and develop it. I'm tired of blending in with the background. Not sure why that is the way it is, but awareness can only act on it or let it be. There is no going back and changing the past. Who'd really want to? It would rob me of this process of self development.

9/28/2011

Failure?

I've been dealing with my own issues with failure lately and due to my internal structure, the move-in-process has brought them back up to the forefront. I've done my own analyzing many times and my logic tells me that many of the scenarios I drag up are not failures, merely perceived that way. Doesn't change the reoccurrence factor. And it typically haunts me for months. 

Today was particularly bad but not one that was hard to hide. I seem to be getting better at that as time goes on. I'm noticing with time the different ways that these bad days/weeks/months affect my daily activities. Today my work was obviously getting the shit end of the stick. The smallest jobs were immediately challenged by the thought that I was hardly capable of doing this on my own and getting it right at all. My self-confidence took a massive dive. And as a result I was probably incredibly annoying to the many people I had to stop and ask for help for every minor issue. Yes, that's why they're there, but I'm big on doing things myself. And myself wasn't up for it. And I felt another accusing call of "failure" creeping in compounding the already present cacophony. 

See how this thing just builds and gets worse? 

So towards the end of the day I started looking for anything to read that would help me take my mind off the self-confidence issue and put on a more positive spin. I found this article and while it's not all things I would agree with, I still found it immediately uplifting and decided it was worth a share. 

Do You Feel Like a Failure?

Denver Blogger - Do you feel like a failure? Debbie Takara Shelorby Debbie Takara Shelor

Several years ago I started noticing that I wasn't happy. I was ill more often than was O.K. with me and I seemed to only find pleasure in writing.

I began asking, "Whatever happened to my joy? I must have had some joy in my life at some point. But where has it gone?

I wasn't happy in high school. We moved to a new town when I was entering the 9th grade and I cried everyday after school for almost a year because I just didn't know how to fit in with the same crowd - or type of kids - that I'd been friends with in my previous school. I felt like a failure at making my high school life work. I didn't even attend the 5 year reunion because the pain was still so great.

But there were times in grade school and junior high when I was very very happy.

Even during my engineering career my laugh was so infectious and wonderful that one of the plant managers used to comment about it often. He loved my laugh.

But the laugh was even gone for awhile.

So where had it gone? When and why did my joy leave?

I was sitting in my office "trying" yet another thing to make our business successful. I had already spent hours (years) upgrading the website, answering email, writing the newsletters, reading about effective marketing.
My former husband - whose timing is always impeccable - came in to the room and said "Here you sit. Again! You are in front of the computer when I leave for work and you are on it when I come home. You don't do anything else." Then he just turned and left.

I didn't defend myself. I didn't try to explain why it was so important to be doing what I'd been doing. I just sat there and thought about it and realized he was right. There I sat and I wasn't even enjoying it. The only thing I enjoyed was writing the newsletters, but the rest brought me no joy. I was now in a state of realizing that "something isn't right here."
That same day he called and asked me why our bank account had a negative balance?
I had no reply. I went numb. After I hung up the phone, I had a complete and total physical and emotional breakdown. I was sobbing really big tears. And I was ready to leave - the planet I mean. I had had it. I was a complete and total failure (in my own mind). I couldn't even manifest a positive bank account. I was exhausted from the struggle. I hated the game (life). I hated my life (the things I had co-created).

There I was - in that most magical of moments - often referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. That amazingly horrible wonderful instant when you can choose to sink or swim. That time when we are forced to make a real choice - to change our life permanently for the better or stay stuck in anger, hatred, sadness, or whatever other type of negativity. I had "hit the wall" as they say. I felt like an absolute and total failure. The old way was absolutely no longer acceptable.

I'd been there before - back in 1993. That experience is what caused my spiritual awakening. Interestingly it was brought on by the same type of thing. Depression - severe depression over the loss of a job I totally and completely loved.

You see I had become completely co-dependent on what I considered the perfect magical job for myself. I was a Team Leader in the Bayer Factory. We made all the Bayer Aspirin in the U.S. I was co-creator of a self-directed work team. I got to travel. I got to teach team, communication, and quality skills. I got to work one on one with employees - their personal development. I worked night and day. It was difficult, but I had a mission - create a successful self-directed factory.

But the more things I tried, the harder it became, the more problems there seemed to be.

And then the unthinkable happened.
The company restructured and I was taken out of the Bayer Factory. I was no longer a Team Leader in a self directed work environment. I was a front line supervisor in a traditional (archaic) factory - a job I had turned down at least 6 times prior to this. To say I was devastated hardly begins to describe all the things I felt.

My dream had been wretched out from under me - and there was nothing I could do about it. Once again, my life felt like a failure.In hindsight, almost 10 years later, I finally saw the truth. The truth is I thought my one shot at real glory had been shattered. I was so co-dependent on the "success" of the project that I couldn't see the truth. The truth is I didn't care about the success of the team. What I cared about was me being part of something wildly successful. If I was part of something wildly successful, then I would finally deserve and therefore receive the acknowledgement and appreciation I was so desperately seeking from - oh no - my dad.

Growing up I never got it. I tried everything. I was the best at practically everything I did. I'd come home with straight A's and my dad's only comment would be "Why weren't they A+'s?" That's it. After all I had put into achieving I never received the reward. I was a failure in my own mind even when I was excelling.

So out of this I developed the belief that no matter what I did, it wasn't good enough and it would never bring me happiness. So I had to try harder, try more things, and the more attached I was to the outcome being a success, well (as is always the case when you are attached to an outcome) the bigger the failure it became.

When you are attached to the outcome there is no way for there to be a good result. Actions not taken in joy never result in happiness.

I wasn't taking actions out of joy. I was taking actions out of desperation. Trying desperately to achieve something worthy of praise. Trying desperately not to be a failure in the eyes of others and in my own eyes.

The driving force behind all of my actions was not desire to attain my value of helping people or making a difference. My actions were being taken from the shear terror of how I'd feel (and always did feel) because my dad must not love me since he never praised my accomplishments.

Because father represents Father (the masculine aspect of God), then God must not be pleased with me either. Great!

The more I tried, the more things didn't work, the more unhappy I became. So I tried with more determination, with greater attachment to the outcome. So of course all I experienced was disappointment and complete lack of joy. I didn't enjoy the work because it was full of disappointment - I had WAY too many expectations. I couldn't enjoy my former husband, or my son, or where we live - even though all three of those are fabulous. I NEVER took time for myself. Because the only thing that mattered was the success (or in this case lack of success) of the business.

My focus was completely on what I didn't have and the sense of failure I felt. And I completely lost sight of what I did have - which was a great deal.The human personality is such a silly character. Lets get to the truth of the matter.

Did (and does) my father love me?

Absolutely!

Did he acknowledge my accomplishments?

Yes in his own way.

Was he proud of me?

You have no idea how very proud.

But the little girl - we don't know how old she was when she decided all this - wasn't getting the exact right words or actions at the exact right time to satisfy her own insecurity. So she made all the other stuff up and began living life from that perspective. A completely debilitating set of beliefs and patterns with really no justification for their existence.

We all do that you know!

What is the worst thing you can do for your immune system? Experience for long periods of time negative (or low vibratory) emotions such as anger, hatred, fear, depression, sadness, etc. I'd been stuck in sadness and depression. So I became ill. And no matter what I tried things didn't really improve.

This Dark Night of the Soul literally freed me from the shackles of a limiting belief that I'd carried most of my life. After the initial breakdown - which was very short lived - this huge energetic boulder, that was much bigger than I am, shattered into a million pieces and fell to the floor all around me. It was gone. I mean it was really gone.

The next day, after this experience of discovering the shadow, I turned 41. It was Spring Equinox - a time of rebirth and renewal.

I was literally faced with having to redefine who I Am and what matters to me. A kind of scary idea. All of my goals, values, and everything had this false belief underneath them. Now that it was gone its like I had to start again. I had to re-evaluate my values. I had to look at my goals to see if they made sense. And, finally, it felt like for the first time in my life I could breathe deep and relax.

Before everything was about being perceived as being successful - so everyone, especially my dad, would love me. So, nothing and I mean nothing, could be left to chance. The stress this creates is almost unimaginable.
This "thing" driving me in every moment wasn't even something in my best interest. It caused stress which leads to disease. It required taking actions that I didn't even enjoy. It was my creation - a belief of how life is, how life works, what really mattered, based on mistruths.

My dad wanted me to excel - feeling that would bring me happiness. So he urged me to do that in his own way.

The entire goal of this journey we call life is to discover the truth and move forward into the Light. The light of freedom. A life of love, joy, laughter, creativity, and fun unencumbered by the shackles we've placed on ourselves.
Our only mission is to discover and re-merge (become) the Divine Being we already are - going past the illusions and fears of being human.
No-one said the journey was easy. But it is the only journey that has any lasting value. Everyone's journey is different and perfect. And the journey never ends.
  So now what's happening with me you ask?

Well I went off into the mountains and wrote a book called Freeway to Freedom. The meditations I was "given" involve dolphin healing technologies and they permanently heal issues, beliefs, fears, the past, and more.
Well, with the help of those technologies, the Phoenix (me) has definitely risen from the ashes:

I Am soooo much lighter.

I smile alot.

Finishing things used to be really hard - and often didn't happen. I think I thought that if I never finished, then whatever it was couldn't be judged as a success or a failure. There have been many completions since then.
I'm no longer struggling with the same issues. So I'm no longer exhausted from the struggle. Yeah!

When I'm with someone I'm really with them enjoying the moment. I don't have to worry about their perception of my perfection and success. And I don't have a million to do's running through my head.

When I think of something that "should" be done, the first thing I ask myself is "Would doing that bring me joy?" If the answer is no, then I don't do it - at least not right then. I wait until I can enjoy doing it or I don't do it at all.
Have you ever felt like a failure?
Have you ever experienced feeling totally defeated, like you have failed at something really important? It might be that your marriage ended, or your child got into trouble or didn't reach their potential, or you lost your job. Maybe, like me, you went through a job restructuring and felt you were demoted or a failure at your new position. Maybe you tried to start your own business and it didn't really take off. Or perhaps you just aren't happy and can't figure out why.

Success and failure walk hand in hand. What do they each mean to you? What does it feel like or look like to be successful? What does it feel like or look like to be a failure?

When you focus on the failure, you rarely even notice the success. Start finding what is good, what you can be grateful for, what is like a blessing.
There are many people who are facing the wall (of their shadow) or have actually hit the wall - people who feel like they are a failure or have failed at some aspect of their life. Alot of them don't know what to do. Feel free to share the story I just told you about my own experience and suggest that they look for the mistruth or limiting belief that has caused them to come to the place they are at in their own life.
We offer many tools and experiences that can help.

Blessings,Debbie

The original article can be read here. 

7/25/2011

Costume Idea Harvest - Women's Medieval

Out and about, browsing ideas for costumes and I found some stuff, both cool for me and cool for others, to share. First up:

DaisyViktoria has some very cool ideas in their gallery. This one was a favorite.


Eowyn by ~DaisyViktoria on deviantART


Next was this simple but very elegant design by Liquidfire3.


Sapphire Medieval Gown II by ~Liquidfire3 on deviantART


And last for tonight is a piece done by Applegripsch. I like this simple design a lot.



Medieval Fantasy Costume by ~Appelgripsch on deviantART


And that's it for the women. For right now, anyway.

6/21/2011

Inappropriate Ways to Celebrate the Summer Solstice List

I had a little fun on Facebook today posting these as they came to mind. Part of my inner cynic came out and played with my odd sense of humor. Enjoy.
#1- Sunburn. Apollo/Sol/Ra most likely does not want your flesh crispy fried as some sort of sick homage to them. After all, you really think they'd want to have sex with a lobster the next time they decide to incarnate and father some offspring?
#2- Skyclad in Public. While it might be a genuine expression of your desire to celebrate in true Wiccan style, please refrain from exposing too much (or all) of yourself today while wandering amongst the unprepared masses. We might end up liking it, we might end up traumatized. Please don't assume we'll be jonesing for a gander at your goodies, though.
#3- Arson. Yes, yes, all hail the god(s) of light and warmth and joy and... fire. It's true, the sun is a big ball of fire. However, your office building should not become your burnt offering, people. Some of us nice, non-douchey people probably work with you too. You could at least have the decency to include us in the blaze-making if you're going to do it at all.
#4- Glitter. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. I'd rather you not run around whacking people with your fairy wand and dumping a god-awful amount of glitter "fairy dust" all over people. That shit doesn't go away. And it spreads. There's a reason it's called the herpes of the craft world. Take your shiny and play by yourself somewhere far far away. You could call this a public service announcement too, I suppose. 
Here's a funny "naked people" pic for the hell of it.
Naked People, summer, solstice, celebrate, holidays

The Wedding of Heaven and Earth - Litha 2011

Denver blogger pagan Musings
 Technically it's June 21st, 2011, but it doesn't quite feel like "today" yet as I have yet to go to bed. When the mood strikes, I have to write. Even if I don't quite know what to write about. That led to some Facebook polling and then to some browsing on Google on the summer solstice (northern hemisphere) which hits at roughly 1:16 pm in one of the timezones... yeah, I researched that little fact out extensively, I know. Either way, it's today, people. 
The raging trend that I found while using the web to start the juices going was blog posts about the sun and all things sunny and summer-ish. That's cool. It's a bit copy-paste. Seriously, the majority of the articles I found weren't anything more than the same text as every other site out there. Somebody, and/or a bunch of somebodies, found a wikipedia entry and decided that it was their "original" work. For shame. Underneath the bullshit I found a few gems. The ones that really grabbed my attention were pages talking about the balance of the earth, the sun and the moon's relationship, and the Celtic belief that the summer solstice was the marriage of Heaven and Earth. How I've missed that all these years, I don't know. 

This quote on a blog/journal/site titled song-of-songs.net sparked some thinking.
Man as an organism is to the world outside like a whirlpool is to a river: man and world are a single natural process, but we are behaving as if we were invaders and plunderers in foreign territory. For when the individual is defined and felt as the separate personality or ego, he remains unaware that his actual body is a dancing pattern of energy that simply does not happen by itself. It happens only in concert with myriads of other patterns---called animals, plants, insects, bacteria, minerals, liquids, and gases. The definition of a person and the normal feeling of "I" do not effectively include these relationships. You say, "I came into this world." You didn't; you came out of it, as a branch from a tree."---Alan Watts,Does It Matter © 1968, 1969, 1970, p.23
The more I looked into themes, keywords and elements from that quote, the more inspired and overloaded with information I became. And the more I realized how many things linked to each other. My favorite find is the theme of mankind being the link/tree/bridge between Heaven and Earth and how, as "trees" we are simultaneously linked in community with one another.

Runes for Litha - Denver Blogger Pagan Musings
This is reflected and represented in the Norse rune "Mannaz". It is the rune of humanity and speaks to our human experience. The energy of this rune screams of the significance humanity as part of a network found in this universe. All things in some form run into and out of this humanity and are either transformed or do the transforming, based on our individual and collective will. So much power, such a little vessel. 


On this day, the sun is at its peak in the northern hemisphere, and, for a moment, seems to stand still. At this point, the ancient Celts believed that a great marriage took place in that split second between the sun and his consort, the moon. They saw a great dance reach its climax point- the sun exerted all his glory and power at its height and then moved to let his lady begin to build up to her great moment, the winter solstice and Yule, six months (roughly) later. At this point, it would seem that we, humans, stand as the link between the sun, the earth and the moon, witnessing the dance, the marriage, the shift. One could even drop into a reality where we enable, create, allow this event to happen. Our ancestors thought so. 

Solstice activites were all centered around enhancing the power of the sun through bonfires, dancing, bright colors, joyous festivities and laughter. The belief was that the seasons would not change if we did not help them along. Maybe that is more accurate than popular thought today would have us believe. If in fact we do create our reality, then it is within our best interest to continue the wheel of the year. Perhaps this is so automatic for us now we are not even conscious of it working deep inside our collective mind, manifesting this constantly changing world around us. Cool to think about. 

My thoughts today are going to orbit this idea and its connection with the rune Mannaz and how my part of this tree, or my own tree within this network/forest, can engage and participate in this astrological event. Who knows, magick done in that "between time" might have a little more kick to it with this knowledge as power behind it. 

Cool Links
Checkout this page at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom. She has some cool correspondences for Litha/Summer Solstice energies if you need some ideas for marking this occasion. 

5/18/2011

Something's Gotta Stop the Flow

time, flow, nature, structure, shell, fibonacci, spiralJacob: You know the downward spiral is essentially a chain reaction.
Allel: And nothing that comes out of your mouth makes any sense.
Jacob: They're all reactions! One thing begets the next. A man has a weakness, he's flawed. That flaw leads him to guilt. The guilt leads him to shame. The shame he compensates with pride and vanity. And when pride fails, despair takes over and they all lead to his destruction. It will become his fate... Something's gotta stop the flow.


That dialog is from the movie "Ink", a story about a lost soul who tries to enter the ranks of the succubi by sacrificing the soul of a little girl, dodging her guardians, the Storytellers, and their Pathfinder, Jacob. A friend mentioned how incredibly cool the part of the movie where Jacob taps into the rhythm of the world around him (and then alters it by throwing off the rhythm) was and it's had me thinking ever since.

My favorite theory on the 2012 frenzy is that as the stars, sun, earth and then our cells all adjust to mirror the rythm set in motion by the stars, first, and then followed by the rest of this reality as we know it until these vibrations eventually adjust our thinking, evolution and outlook on the world. I think when 2012 hits we will barely notice it unless we are aware and watching for the shift in rhythm. When that happens, and it is a gradual thing really, I think the results will be amazing. The last few times this rhythm has hit a major number in the Fibonacci series, we've had a worldwide renaissance. What will this next renaissance entail? I have a lot of ideas, now I'm just going to have to wait and see.

Can we change what happens? If we do something now to "stop the flow" can we cause a massive shift to occur in alignment with what we will to happen? Things are fucked up right now, but the wheel always keeps on turning. Maybe our focus needs to be on tapping this rhythm so we can change the flow. My friend is already thinking this way and now has me obsessed with the idea. This needs more pondering and plotting.

5/16/2011

Smartphone and Swype

I am up late tonight, not an unusual thing for me, and tinkering around with various things. Posted to facebook, took a couple random photos, downed more coffee than is good for me, sex IMed a friend's stalker for a half hour, and did some general worrying about the job market and my need of a second job and a new place to live with cheaper rent. Busy night. But on a jaunt to the restroom I thought how cool it would be to update my blog from the bathroom using my htc Evo. Lol So I am. And Swype makes it so fast.

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