I have finally set dates. What dates, you ask? The dates for my vacation and my departure of my hometown of Cheyenne. I struggled for a while with putting anything hardcore to commitment because I had so many uncertainties floating up around my head, and while a few still remain, I have a goal that I am going to accomplish by February 3rd and I'm gonna do everything necessary to move toward that deadline. I admit that the world could change and everything could flip a bitch on me, but unless the apocalypse happens, I'm gone. Outta here, baby.
I've been wanting to do this for a year and haven't gotten serious about it until here recently (like the last two or three months) and now that it's finally happening, there is very little hesitation. I am ready for this mentally and emotionally, hell, even physically. I've felt like life just wasn't taking me any closer to a life I wanted or dreamed of. I started on that dream, and it crashed. A lot of things have crashed in the last three years. Friendships, relationships, jobs, dreams, old habits, negative patterns, etc. I've changed so much in the last two years I think it probably took all the change and frustration to mold me into the person I needed to be for me in order to have the balls to do something big like this. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've got balls and they ain't goin' nowhere soon!
My biggest challenges to tackle immediately are my housing situation, hopefully soon to be remedied, I have a few leads, and my mental clarity going into this. I must admit, right here, that I'm not fully addressing the situation head on. It's like it is the sun and I'm floating towards it glancing down and away trying to discover everything about it by studying it out of nothing more than the corner of my eye. It's crazy, I guess I never really look anything squarely until it's right there in front of me. Probably not the best way to handle life. But I've learned a lot so far. That counts, right?
So if you see me between now and then, know it's probably the last time you'll see me for a while and wish me luck. I'm young and stupid and going for the throat, so the world had best be ready! I may not change a thing, but I'll be forever changed. Alchemy at its best! Enough with the metaphors, god damn it!